Last Day

Well all last days should be epic, you should remember them well, and more importantly you should make everyone that you leave behind remember you as well, preferably in the good sense. Currently I am stuck as to what I should do. I am currently removing everything from my computer that I want, and I have to go through google earth as well, that might take a while. I have a couple of magazines to read as well as some leftover clean up to do, that will take me about 1/2 an hour. There is something strange about your last day, and I think what makes this day so strange is that I know that it is over, I have energy like I have never had before, I am happy. Happy enough that I might sing Waltzing Matilda in front of the secretary, that would leave a lasting memory that is for sure.

Well that is it for this blog for now, if you need to find me you can do so here

Or here: http://theofficeblog-awayfromtheoffice.blogspot.com/

Days Left:

What am I doing right now : singing Waltzing Matilda

Titleless

Well today the 2 day count down began, and ended. It is kind of strange, knowing that you have less than 16 hours left to spend in your office. Only 16 hours of work to do, most of which will be spent cleaning out your junk adorning your office, and tidying up, organizing your office and wiping the hard drive of your computer of anything that should not be left beind. Well, with 1 day left to go, I think there is only one thing left to say.

Well This is just about it.

Days Left: 1

Smelly feet and hot women

Today I had my last doctors appointment, it was to get a second pair of orthodics for my shoes. But today was special, for the second time I was seen by the doctor and her rather young and good looking student. I met the student the first day she was there and I just found out that I was her first patient she ever saw, I do feel special today. Well we started talking about stuff and my new trip to Australia. She became rather envious and mentioned her trip to Europe last year. It was interesting what she said though about her favorite country, she loved Austria the most because it felt like home. The strange thing is, my favorite country was also Austria, because of that exact same reason. I was about to make an attempt on hitting on her, when I came back to where I was. She was currently very close to my bare feet and at that exact instant I also became painfully aware of the fact that I have foot odor. I am not sure if anyone has ever tried to hit on someone while they are playing with your smelly feet, but I decided not to be the first to try. Though sadly now I wish I had nothing ventured nothing gained. Ah well.

Days Left 2

Oh Pedal Power, How I Will Miss You

So this morning I woke up this morning missing my travel companion, after abandoning him at my brothers last night. That is right, I dropped my bicycle off at my brothers place for the next 6 months. Yes, that bike and I go way back, to the days when I was a kid and bike was hanging in my dad's shop unused and abandoned. I rescued it from it's place of sorrow, and after some oil, labor, and new tires we went for our first ride. It was wonderful, we cruised over hills, through the fields of barley, wheat, canola and hay. It was all great, until I realized I didn't tighten the nut on the front wheel. Of course I won't bore you with the details of those exact circumstances of the before mentioned realization. For example I won't mention how the wheel came off after I hit a little bump, or how the forks on the front dug into the ground and came to a sudden and absolute stop. I will remain silent about how I became airborne, and most definitely won't discuss the extravagant landing. Needless to say I limped home bike in tow. It was upon my arrival in Edmonton that the bike became my best travel partner. Every day that I went to work it came with me, though my car did not like this, but at 14 buck a day to park down town I could afford the pedal power. We covered many a happy mile together, and many an unhappy one to, but we did it together. So for our last time I took him out on the town, literally, from Yellowhead to Whyte ave we did rome, me drunk, and him steering, and that may have been why we ran into that hedge just past 118th ave. But it was a wonderful ride, through the Legislature grounds and across the high level bridge, all the lights of the city twinkling in the cool night air. For a last ride it was a wonderful run, one both of us will cherish.

I will miss you old friend, you were my wheels, and I your engine.
Days Left:3
Missing my bike

Cookie Hat

I am down to 5 days at work.............wow, only 1 work week left, this is going to take some getting used to. What am I supposed to do when I am done.....oh ya, something useful. Anyway with 5 days left I have decided to honor this day by adding bling to my office using certain office materials. AKA bling my office without spending money. Well first I made this for myself to bad these things didn't come in gold. Once I blung myself to the maximal allowable limit, I ran out of ideas. Lucky the dog wanted to join in, and I couldn't refuse him. And after much shoe horning and applying peer pressure we even got Larry the duck to join in. But when it came to the globe, we were defeated, because it was the world, and the world was cool, it didn't need any bling. We couldn't really argue with that. So why me, the duck, and the dog were basking in our new found blingness, the ultimate in cool hit my desk. The apple walked in wearing this, that's right, it was wearing the chocolate chip cookie sombrero. This is like unbeatable, no amount of bling can beat a combination of cookie and apple, health and sweetness. We were sick with envy, so sick that only one thing would fix the problem. I ate them, it was barbaric, and sooo good. I wonder what the doctor would say. Until next time.


Days left: 4
Blingness: Oh ya

What Would You Find in my Desk?

Well today is a short day, so I am going to kind bugging out on this blog and not attacking anything that requires any sort of thought process. So in true lazy Friday fashion, here is a list of interesting things you will find in my office.

-Lucky the dog
-A glass globe
-Ming balls (no I am not referring to the ones between my legs)
-A wooden duck named Larry
-Stress ball (I use it to bounce off the walls of my office when I am bored, one day I did it enough the guy in the office next to mine started banging on the wall.)
-A barometer in the shape of a ships wheel
-Chess set (for when I play people through e-mail over a couple of weeks)
-Portable radio (for when the Internet or power dies)

Well that is it for today
Days left:5
Next week, office art

It Was One Of Those Mornings

This morning was incredibly frustrating, I was useless beyond belief. It was one of those morning that you couldn't find your nose if it was attached to your face, believe me this morning I tried. Everything I did this morning seemed to put me farther behind, or simply turned out in vain. I slept through my alarm, couldn't find my car keys, then my wallet, then my apartment keys magically vanished, then I ran out of cereal, though I have 2 liters of milk in the fridge. It took me 15 minutes to find my cell phone, which turned out to be in my pocket of the jeans I was wearing, and I tripped over the power cord of my new computer, luckily no damage was caused. Eventually all items were accounted for after some serious time was burned, well except for the cereal, I think I ate that or not.......I think I left it on the counter actually. As for my day at work, it hasn't been much of an improvement, but at least now I am getting paid to be frustratedly backwards. Oh well, back to work.

Days left 6

Car Alarms

For about an hour today, this stupid car alarm was going off outside of my building, and do you know how hard it is to sleep when something annoying as that is consistently honking in the background. I was tempted to return downtown to it's well deserved silence using either a large gun, or perhaps more likely a set of wire cutters, as it would draw less police officers. I think they should outlaw those things, because they seem to cause more disturbance than they are worth. If a car alarm goes off everybody just ignores them, and when an hour later the car still spewing it's hateful horn filled blabber into my peaceful stratosphere, it's owner yet to claim it's tantrupting child. At this point angry onlookers start to circle the temper tantrupting Audi (have you ever noticed that the car alarms that are left unattended the longest are usually the more expensive ones) with various tools of silence hoping that intimidation will prevail where patience has not. Eventually the owner shows and quickly drives away in hopes of outrunning the angry mob. I think we should start fining these people for abandonment, that is what we don if they left their child screaming in a parking lot, why not their car? I hate car alarms.

Days Left:7
Things I am doing right now: Research

Ok, ok, so I failed

Ya I know that I missed my blog post on Friday, but I have a good reason, or should have a good reason. I stayed home to study for the exam I have tomorrow, but ended up banging my head against the wall, as it was less painful than trying to understand this subject. I momentarily wondered if the introduction of a case of Richards and 2 bottles of cheap wine would help my brain translate this alien language (I personally know that at least one of my university friends swears by this method of studying, and it seems to be working in his case), but then I would be out of alcohol for the aftermath of the exam, and I will definitely need it then. The strange thing is, I don't think I am going to pass this exam, and even stranger, I don't seem to be worried about that, I am not panicking, stressed out, or phased in any way. Usually I would be bothered by this, but not right now, in fact if I was stressed or worried about it, I would probably find it easier to concentrate. I hope I pass this exam, it would be nice, since then I wouldn't have to try to write it again.

I won't be posting tomorrow, as I will be writing an exam and don't plan on touching a computer at all tomorrow.

Days left: 2 less than my last post
Test left to write: 1

I forgot how hard this was

I am currently trying to study for a rather difficult test, on my own. The problem is that I have forgotten how, I have been out of school for a couple of years now, and getting back into the grove of studying is by no means as easy as I thought it would be. There are way to many interesting distractions to better occupy my precious time. Apparently watching Paris Hilton appear on
Supernatural is more important than learning how to properly query a cadastral database built in a waterfall approach in order to locate .................................................................................................... ...................................................................................... SKA........sorry, fell asleep there. Ya, this is definitely harder than I remember. Must re-learn how to study, test is in 4 days, I think I will take the next 2 off in order to study for them.

Oh Goody

Sometimes I wonder why I bother.
For those of you who don't know, the way my job is set up is is that we randomly pull work from people in industry to do inspections, and make sure they are doing everything up to set standards. Our two main goals are to protect the public, protect their fellow practitioners. The problem is I report to 2 different bosses, and to an overseeing board of volunteer's. The problem is the board of volunteer's changes every year, and most of the files take more than a year to clear the system, also they don't really have balls. They don't want to hit those members who have very poor working habits with fines or stuff to force them to change their ways. Today one of the worst plans I have ever seen or worked on went to the board, and instead of giving this guy a boot in the ass, they jive him a slap on the wrist and send him home. Why even bother working on these anymore, the board isn't going to follow them up anyway.

Depressed, Yea
Days left 12

If I Could Think Of A Title, I am Sure It Would Be Epic

I have 13 days left, and I have more work to do now, than I had at any point in my last 2 years here, how that happened I will never know. Most companies when you are about to leave lighten your work load to allow an easy slide into unemployment, but not this job, no they had to wait until the last minute to say "Oh, before you go, could you get this short list of things to get done" (and proceed to unroll a piece of paper slightly shorter than a football field) "We meant to give this to you 2 years ago, but we lost it." I think I need a beer, make that a keg, though it could be hard to store that in my desk drawer.

Days Left: 13
Doctors Appointments 3/4
Going for a beer.....Definitely

An Early Morning Post

I guess it happens every once in a while, I have to write a post before lunch. This is because today I have a doctors appointment around noon (my last doctors appointment), and won't be back in the office until Tuesday, which reminds me, I need to buy new shoes. Getting to work the last couple of days has been.........interesting. It was the first snowfall of this fall, and of course everybody seems to have forgotten how to drive in the white stuff, like 30 collisions in under an hour. Man, is it going to be chilly this weekend, and I am going hunting early in the morning, I think I will be packing some hot water.

Research

Ok, so today I got to do a really interesting thing today, I got to look at a very old survey (a bit over 135 years old) and the hardest part of working on this plan is that you have to do a large amount of research, very old research. It is kind of fun to look at the surveys that have taken place over the last 130 years so that you can follow them and see what has happened, see how the area has changed, the key though is to use your imagination to see what buildings would rise and fall, build and bulldoze. You can almost imagine the area changing, just don't get caught daydreaming to much, you still have to find the posts and not screw up, but I will work on it some more tomorrow, because it is 4:56, and I better get ready to go.

P.S. It is snowing, this will be a fun commute home.

Days Left:15
Daydreaming.....Always

The 3 O'Clock Wall

Around 3 O'clock it usually happens, I run into the wall. Everything stops, even the clock seems to stall as my energy level plummets, my drive to complete anything stalls, and my arms hurt from working at a desk all day. It feels like running into a wall, you don't really want to do anything, but you can't go home. The only really good thing to do is write a blog, check your e-mail and read a couple of work related magazines in hopes to bypass the 3 O'clock wall and wait for the 4 O'clock freight train to give you that last hour pick me up before the drive home. And here it is, and I better catch it before it goes.

Days Left: 16
Riding the 4:00 train

Yikes

I have 6 minutes to post something before the clock reaches midnight, and I fail my blog everyday left I work. The reason why this post is so late is that I was out in the field all day, and of course the weather has never been better, as long as you were in some other country. Todays field conditions: cold rain, no sun, and a 70km wind from the North that turned your fingers blue in minutes or less. The boss stayed in the truck so as to better allow me the full pleasure of digging holes in weather that had only one goal, make your life misserable. It really mirrored my time at this job, missery, it was still better than being in the office though. Now must go and defrost.

Days left:17
Frozen fingers: 10

Fear

Fear, of all of our human emotions fear is by far the most unique, the most powerful, and the most dangerous. It can tell you when danger is close, give you a shot of adrenaline when you need to outrun a large furry something who would like to have you for an afternoon snack, which can be very useful. But it is extremely dangerous, because it can send the mind into panic mode, or leave you frozen in place. That is what makes fear so unique, it can turn you into the Hulk, or a dear in the headlights, kind of the extreme ends of the spectrum don't you think? What is so dangerous about fear is that it can kill you. Let me explain more accurately, when fear grips you, sometimes you panic, stampede, crush and rush. The funny thing is, when fear strikes the last thing you need is panic. The people who are remembered for doing great things in a crisis are those who kept a cool head and thought the situation through, finding a solution while everyone else ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. Of course there is also the fact that it can turn you into concrete and leave you immobile, as the train comes barrelling down the tracks. How did evolution ever give us those options, immobile, panicking heard, or superman. That is a weird combination.

Days Left: 18

Hope

I seem to suddenly be inspired to go for broke here following yesterdays shot at youth. Maybe I will take a shot at hope today. I have seen very few turning points in the world, where people have been given hope, where it was a time of hope. I have seen it happen, I have seen it twice. When Edmonton made it's playoff run in 2006, people said it was a winning fever, but they were wrong. It was hope, hope that Edmonton after years of preforming slightly better than a hung over collage student, they could play, they could play well, and that Stanly would be coming home. Then last year I watched what happened South of the 49th parallel. After 8 years of disappointment, annoyance, and flat out hatred at George W. Bush. It wasn't just America who hated their president, the whole world looked at the Whitehouse with frustration and hatred. That is why when America and the world saw Obama they saw change, they saw something better, they saw hope. As soon as I saw this I knew that others were seeing it to. It wouldn't have mattered who the republicans had put up against him, because everybody was seeing hope. If the republicans had truly understood that they would have left the brain deprived Alaskan cougar in her frozen tundra. As soon as she began talking people didn't see hope, they saw George Bush's long lost Alaskan cousin, they saw what everybody wanted to leave behind. In the end the republicans could not compete with hope, and it cost them dearly. If you really want to see where this was the strongest look at the younger generation, and look how they voted. There are many times in history where one spark of hope creates a fire of change, look at the protests during the nineteen sixties. Even when people were getting shot the damage was done, because hope was sweeping the nation, and change was not far behind. If you want to see what happens when hope is so completely lost, have a look at the dirty thirties. Those were years were there was no hope anywhere, everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. I have a couple of stories told to me by my grandfather, and none of them are pretty, there is a reason they call it the great depression. The human race is a sad creature when hope is lost. I think one of the people who understood this the best was Harvey Milk. The speech he left behind should be studied by all, because as he says "You gotta give them hope".

Days left:19

We Are Young

The other day I was standing in the front greeting area involved in a conversation with 2 people I knew from outside of the office and my boss. The conversation was not involving anything specific, and was really not worth mentioning, until my boss was asked how our staffing situation was. Now a little back story needs to be involved here because for quite a while our office best resembled a revolving door when it came to personal. The list of reasons why this office went through employees like coffee starts at my shoulder, run down my arm, out the door, and down the hall. Lets just say I feel no need to list them right now. Though it should be noted that several of the reasons seem to be tethered to the above mentioned boss. Well for a while everything seemed to calm down, but a couple of months ago another one of our secretaries decided to leave, it should also be noted that she was only 21at the time. She decided that she wanted to move to Paris for a couple of years in order to try something new, I could tell that she wasn't happy here anymore, and anyone who couldn't see that is blind, deff and dumb. My boss was of course surprised. However in the words of my boss it was "She has these grand plans of moving to Paris to become a nanny", and it was in a tone that almost held disdain. Before I could properly correct him for being such an idiot for not being able to understand his employees or anyone younger than the previous ice age, they were called into a meeting. It was once again time for annoyance for my boss to boil at the surface as it has done all to many times throughout the past 2.5 years. I was upset that I didn't step up and nail the bastard, that I didn't stand up for her, for me, for the young, for us. This was also the time that I realized that the young can never be represented by the old, and as we get older we loose touch with the young. The old get lost in the in the past, and the young roll past as the old daydream. I am young, we are young, the world is in our hands, dream and don't let the old slow you down.

Days Left: 20
Annoyed at my boss: Always

The Gasoline Of The Corporate World

Believe it or not, the gasoline of the corporate world is not gasoline, have you ever tried it? If you sniff it, you become as high as a kite, and if you drink it.....your dead. Being a corpse is kind of anti productive and being high.....well it would explain why so many bad decisions on wall street lately. The actual gasoline of the office world is caffeine, sugar, and everything that gives your mind a kick why simultaneously degrading your health. Coffee and now energy drinks are usually supplied by the employer free of charge, and yet I won't touch the stuff. The strange thing is, what people need in the morning isn't sugar or caffeine, what they really need is a proper meal, they need breakfast. Not this McDonald's drive true crap, but a true full breakfast. That is a major problem in today's world, everybody is in such a rush in the morning that breakfast is sacrificed. I don't need coffee, I need waffles.

Days left: 21
Days I missed breakfast.......uncountable.

Field

As you may have heard last week, I was in the field last week. Field days are really the only enjoyable part of my job, and the days that I usually work the hardest. It is kind of sad when the best part of your job is you digging holes in clay packed as solid as concrete, in 35 degree heat. The reason I enjoy it so much is because the field is where it all comes together or completely falls apart. I have seen way to many plans who say one thing, but the field says something completely different. It is not only that, it is just nice to get out of the office and go see some interesting places (Like the Hanna Roundhouse shown in an earlier blog). It is part of the idea of going out and exploring what is around you, the only difference is, it is nice to get paid to see some of it.

Days Left: 22
Field Days Left: 1

The Weekend

Since the last few posts have been about days of the week, it is only fair to speak of your gun shooting, beer loving, mad driving cousins who pick you up at your office doors at 5:00 sharp in their beat up old pickup truck. You jump into the truck box with your briefcase in hand, tie flying in your accelerated jump over the side, yelling "To Women, to Bar, to Freedom and beyond". Of course the key is to hang onto the truck as your cousins peel out leaving rubber, smoke, and whatever you had for lunch trailing off behind. Your first stop is the bar to thank the world for giving you such fine cousins. The rest of the weekend is kind of a blur, but 2 days of blur is better than 5 days of office boredom. Boy I miss those guys.

Days left: 23

Friday

If we could relate the days of the week to family members they would come out like so. Monday would be your hung over cousin who has the brains of a monkey and talks with a really annoying voice. Whenever you get stuck in the same room with him you end up planning a way to remove them from the gene pool. Tuesday is the older, harder working brother of the twins. Wednesday is the weird middle child who is usually more mature than their age and takes after their parents in the most responsible manner. Thursday is the younger funner brother of the hard working twins. Friday, now Friday is your long lost distant cousin from down under who is a pyrotechnic by profession, a man who will gladly help you annoy your boss by nature, and a shear drunk in all means. Friday is when you usually meet for lunch, don't do work that requires a large amount of brain function, and execute plots against your boss that were thought up on Monday. When the boss isn't in, Friday is when true office heroics take place, like racing a wheelie chair down the halls, or flying paper plains.

TGIF

Days left 24

Thursday

Thursday is best described as Tuesdays twin brother, except a better drinker. Thursday is usually a relatively productive day without the dismal prospect of another 4 misserable days remaining between you and freedom. Thursday is usually the day that all final preparations for Fridays events are completed. Thursdays best part is that it finally leads to Friday.

Field

Have to post something, before clock reaches 12:00. Been in field all day in which I dug holes in peoples lawns in the search for gold. I only found iron, and rather hard packed ground which required the energy of a nuklear bomb to break loose. I should also mention it was 35 degrees in the sun today, so it drained your energy at a rather fast pace. Well goodnight, I will be in the filed again tomorrow, and it is Guinesse's 250th birthday, I might not be able to post tomorrow.

Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday

Tuesday, probably the best day for productivity. Of all the days of the working week, Tuesday is unique. Most of the rebellion that was being planned gets put to the back burner until it's revival on Friday, though this does not mean that it is forgotten, it just isn't as high on the list. There is nothing really significant about Tuesday, the traffic is usually a little worse, but the mood is set and almost accepted. Tuesday feels a little shorter than Monday, and not nearly as annoying. I almost enjoy Tuesday, even though I no longer care for the work, or even want to be here, I still almost enjoy it.

Races Won:1
Doctors Visits 2/4
Days Left:

Ah Monday, where is thy sting?

Monday, the cruel joke that the universe plays on every blue collar working stiff. It is the day that starts off with the shower that takes just a little bit longer as you soak the bruises from the weekend, and take comfort from the soothing water as you begin to start 5 days of misery at a job you lost hope in. Your beard needs trimming after a weekend of unchecked growth as there is no need for a proper dress code on the weekends. The dirty laundry from the last week is still piled by the washing machine, and you can't find a clean shirt anywhere in the dresser, or on the floor, or under the bed. The car needs fuel, you are low on groceries, and you would rather be in bed, than fighting early morning traffic. The boss is on your case, any work you get done comes back, because of a new "Modification" that they forgot to mention earlier. Lunch comes and goes without telling you, but the rest of the day crawls by at a pace just slower than the previous ice age. When the clocks finally reach 5:00 you and all your brainless Zombie co-workers heard towards the door, towards the outside world and the commute away from the towers that held you captive for the last 8 hours. You get home, do laundry, buy groceries, feed the fish, eat supper, clean up, and go to bed. Monday is a bad joke.

Races Won:1
Doctor Visits: 2/4
Days Left:28

The Countdown

Where is the fine line between sad to leave a job and happy to see it go. Where is the line between tears of sadness, and tears of joy. The difference between walking out with your belongings in a box looking back at your empty office as the door slams shut with longing and regret, and dancing down the hallway singing show tunes. I guess the divider would be when you start counting down your remaining days, and proudly flaunting it by posting the countdown on your door. I simply cannot wait to get out of here, for reasons that I will explain later. Let me just say, that I have been practicing my "I am out a here" dance.

Days Left: 29
Races Won:1
Doctor Visits:2/4

Last Kick at the Benefit Cat

Well, isn't it strange that during the last 2 months of work here I have taken advantage of something I have flatly ignored for the last 2 years. I am of course speaking of my medical benefits. Over the last couple of days I have seen the dentist, and the doctor, and made arrangements to see the optometrist and an orthopedic doctor to get new orthopedics. I am mostly doing this because, well I will be loosing my benefits as soon as I am done work, and because I haven't seen any of the before mentioned people since I left school 2 years ago. Isn't it amazing how when you are about to loose something, you suddenly get the urge to use it. I think the combined medical bills I am racking up will probably equal a little over 800 bucks. It isn't a completely free ride, but it takes at least 80% of the nasty bite off.


Days left:30
Races won:1
Doctors Visits:2/4

The Race

So every working day millions of people get up in the morning, have a snack, jump in their vehicles and proceed to enter that stretch of asphalt that only about an hour earlier was a road and is now a parking lot. While most people sit in their idling cars, I fly by on my bicycle. That's right, you know that annoying bicyclist who weaves through traffic, hopping onto sidewalks, and flirting with the law more that a hooker on Friday night. Ya, that's me, more importantly I get free parking, and this allows me to burn off all those calories I gain by sitting at my desk all day. Well today I got to test my theory that I could go faster than those individuals burning fuel in their SUV's. While I crossed 82nd street at high speed, I noticed that the bumper that just missed me was actually owned by my coworker. Nothing was said, the race was on, manpower VS. car power, bicycle vs. car, my morning breakfast of Oreos vs. high octane gasoline. It was 34 blocks to the finish line, and the odds were against me. The car proceeded to pass me upon the light turning green, but it was then that I unleashed my secret weapon, I jumped onto the bicycle path that parallels the LRT, making a B-line for downtown. I could hear the bookies yelling "All bets are off" as they realized that while the car had to follow roads, I didn't. The car's lead vanished, and with a little help from properly timed trains at my street crossings, I soon had a lead. But all good things must come to an end, as did my bicycle path, dumping me into downtown traffic full of buses, cars and pedestrians. My progress slowed, and my lead shrank as the traffic lights are not timed for those vehicles who are foot powered. With the help of sidewalks, buss/bike lanes and weaving through traffic in a manner reported by the CBC news desk as "Insane", I crossed the finish line 1 bicycle length in front of the before mentioned bumper of my coworkers car. Not being a person who brags, I kept my celebration down to mearly dancing on her hood and singing "We are the champions".

Until next time

theofficeblog

Days until I leave: 31
Bicycle races won: 1

The Office Blogging Blitz

In Honor of the fact that I only have a little over a month to go before I pull a Hoodeenie and vanish from this office I have decided to do a blogging blitz, one blog for every day I have remaining in this place. Starting tomorrow, now all I need to figure out is what I am going to blog about.

Days remaining: 32

Power Power Everywhere, but not here

I just spent the last three hours at the bar due to the slightly small problem of that our building was out of power. To be more precise, something shorted out, relieving me of my computer, light source, and more importantly A/C (as it is like 30 outside). It was a fine meal of food and beer as we waited for the energy to magically re-energize our office building. So all in all it was an average day of acomplishing absolutely nothing. On a side note I am suddenly missing like 2 weeks worth of vacation, my boss and I are currently trying to find why we so fervently agree. Let the arguing begin.

RIP the Golden Age of SPR

Yesterday I was involved in a meeting, and at this meeting I watched the credibility of my program fail and tumble into oblivion in the name of the almighty dollar. Never mind the fact that during or reviews we are finding very serious problems that a poorly trained monkey would have spotted with a short pointy stick. They are not all bad, but some of those errors we have dug up, would have given my old college professor a bad case of the shakes and if I was the one responsible for the before mention mistakes, my butt would have been sore for weeks. Anyway, it was decided that in order to save money we will no longer check as many plans, do as much work on the plans, and most importantly we will no longer be field inspecting our jobs. This bugs me on 2 levels, number one, the field inspection is the most important part of our review, it is when we see that what our man said he found and placed on the plan, he actually did find and place. You would be scared at how often what the plan says isn't what exists in the real world. The second thing that disturbs me on a personal level, is that this means that the favorite part of my job, the part where I leave this dismal concrete tower of civilization and see some of the most interesting parts of the province. The time where I go and learn how to evaluate the evidence, or in some cases find the evidence that is not supposed to exist according to the plan, it is the only real part of my job that I truly enjoy, and that has now been pulled from my job description. If I wasn't under contract I would have given my resignation and leave from this place, but I have 3 months left. I fought for the lats 2 years to give this program some credibility, only to watch my administrative boss destroy it 6 months into my 2 year contract. Right now the ship is sinking, and I am the band who played until the very end.

Roundhouse

In Hanna right now (Home of Nickelback), at the tail of a good week of field inspection, but that isn’t what I want to tell you about. While here I went wandering around this tiny little place upon the prairie, and I stumbled upon an old abandoned roundhouse. For those people who don’t know what a roundhouse is let me give you a quick history lesson on the subject. A roundhouse was used to store and repair steam locomotives that traveled up and down the railroad. They were built in a circular formation with several doors so to accommodate several engines at the same time, thus gaining their name. If you want to find out more may I suggest Wikipedia or Google. As a kid I loved model trains, I loved having a world where I could set up my own world with mountains, farms, and towns. Now I see them differently, to me they represented how Western Canada was built, settled and prospered. Western Canada only exists because of the railroad, and maybe that is why I loved them so much. Here they are our history, my grandparent’s rode the rails all the way from the St. Lawrence to get out here, to get to the place they would call home, the place I still call home. I never really thought about it before really, the foundations they laid 100 years ago, are my foundations today. The end of their journey is the beginning of mine. Getting back to the roundhouse, I was saddened to see the crumbling roundhouse with it’s turntable immobile as it is one of the last ones that I know of that still exists in Alberta. Maybe the most depressing part is seeing the stakes that mark the new subdivision that will soon pave over this monument to my western heritage, to the journey my grandparents made, to all those who traveled the railway, to those who built the railway. It seems that that is the way of Alberta bulldoze now, and regret later. That seems to be the motto of my home province, where everything is a short term gain, and know one looks into the future, just look at the oil sands. Maybe I have too much of a love for model railroads, maybe I love historical buildings, maybe I am still trying to rebuild my grandparents journey, or maybe, just maybe I am one of the few people in this province who understand history and how important it is in order to understand our potential success, and our potential to fail. Maybe I am just using that impossible ability that is foresight.

Getting Hit With The Ugly Stick

I am currently working, yes theofficeblog is actually working, oh well, I was bored of being bored anyway. Anyway, I am not enjoying this plan currently and will tell you why. The first thing I do when a plan hits my desk is to do some background history research into it. Another thing you should know is that if I run across some individuals names I cringe as they were so bad that they got suspended and given the boot. Currently there are three such individuals, and in this case all three were involved in the history behind this plan. From the plan's point of view, that is like getting hit with the ugly stick, repeatedly. If this were your investment portfolio was made up of Bernie Madoff, managed by George Bush, and held by AIG. You are scared at what you are going to find.

Death by a Thousand Knives

Those of you who have read my earlier blogs, know that this spring seeding didn't go very well, though we did finish it, and that is always an accomplishment. Sadly though, farming is still a gamble in the way that you are relying completely on mother nature. Well, this year she wasn't very helpful. The growing conditions right now are pretty bleak. It hasn't rained since last spring, the snow didn't come like we hoped in the winter, and now it is getting hot. Our fields right now are bare right now, wherever the snow blew off the hilltops, the seed never germinated, and in the hollows where moisture congrigated, the plants froze because of a late frost in the second week of June. Half of our seed we planted germinated, and of that, over half froze. It is to late for a rain, in fact if it rained now it would be worse than no rain at all. If it doesn't rain we claim crop insurance and hope for a better year next time. If it rains now, we won't get the crop off before the snow comes, and it won't be worth anything. Not to mention we will have to spend another $50,000 on fertilizer next spring. Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong it seams, but we can't bend mother nature to our whim, we can only continue doing what we can to live.

A Slap In The Face

I just finished watching the movie “Home” by Yann Arthus-Bertrand, and it felt like a slap in the face, but it was one of the most needed things you could get. It is about us, and how we treat our earth, and how much we have changed, and destroyed it. You can find it on YouTube for free until June 14, here is the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqxENMKaeCU&feature=channel_page
If you haven’t seen it yet, you should, because it is time humanity has woken up, because we are on a runaway train, and we are heading towards the cliff. This is really important to anybody, everybody who is on that train, me included. I don’t care what country you are from or what your beliefs are, I don’t care if you believe the world is only 5000 years old, that is no excuse to do nothing. God will not save you, because he gave you the tools to save yourself, that is to say, he sent the boat, but we pulled it apart to use as firewood. I do not want to come across as arrogant, but when you see the light, it is good to acknowledge it, even if it is the headlamp of the oncoming train. I have heard lots of excuses lately, many of which are effectively say “Well actually global warming is caused by (the sun heating up, or some other natural factor), which isn’t our fault.” My response is “So, why does that matter what the cause is.” Because the fact is it doesn’t matter who, pulls the trigger, you are still dead. So what are you doing to help fix it, or compensate for it, because if you do nothing the problem will not go away, it will kill us instead. I guess what I am trying to get at is that we don’t have to win, we don’t have to reach that plain of bliss, where our every whim is served to us on silver platters. We just have to make sure that we don’t lose, because if we do, we won’t get a second chance, we will be dead instead. Over the next few days I am going to be thinking of small measures to start changing our individual lives, because we don’t have to start big, we just have to start small. If anybody has any ideas I would love to hear them, because I am only one mind within the world.

True Worry

It was on the 17th day of seeding is that the worst thing happened, for the first time I was worried. It wasn’t about the broken farm machinery, or the fact that it was snowing in May, or even the fact that we were not done seeding yet. I woke up, before my mother, which was strange. When she came downstairs she told us that part of her vision was missing. Last time I heard that it was one of my friends in high school, and it turns out she had a brain tumor. So when my mom said she was having similar vision problems, every other worry in the universe was replaced with “I don’t want to lose mom”. I think she will be alright, as the hospital couldn’t figure out what was wrong, and they are going to send her to an optometrist, instead of Dr. Wilson. The thoughts of mom were even more clear today as I began working on mom’s belated mother’s day gift, as there is nothing more I can give to mom that is more important than my time, and effort.

Spring Seeding

Ah yes, the time of year has come, and finally finished. It is the time of year that the progress made is inversely proportional to the rate at which my dad’s hairline recedes, and this year was no exception. My guess, my father lost approximately 2 inches of hair, due to an unending series of breakdowns. Well the first week and a half went incredibly smoothly, which meant we were building up to crash hard at the end. The decent into cauos began on the 13^th day of Seeding, which was when I put an antler through one of the tires on the tractor. Since it was an outside duel, we yanked it, and ran without it until the tire guys would come to fix it. 25 minutes later the back tire on the air seeder went, and I was forced to unhitch and return to the yard. After I pulled the air seeder tire off, ran to town, got it replaced, ran back home and installed it back on the tank, I was just in time to help the tire guys replace the big sucker on the tractor. In the end, I got one tank out, when usually I can get out 3. On the 14^th day of running we hit our next bust, dad snapped a knuckle on the heavy harrows, which is like snapping a wing off an airplane. After several hours of heating, hammering and re-assembling, the harrows were finally back in one piece, just in time for the sun to set. On the 15^th day of seeding all hell finally broke it’s chains of bondage that it had streached the previous 2 days raining down destruction upon our plot of land. So let me begin, around noon the auger that fills the tank fell off the before mentioned tank. I held the auger in place to fill tank, but the auger jammed and busted the flighting within it, though we didn’t know that at the time. So while my brother ran the air seeder without the auger dad and I began fixing the mounting plate. Once it was fixed I returned to the field and continued working by spreading the seed. That is when I spotted the flat tire on the air seeder tank being run by my brother. I drove him home, it was 3:30, and the tire shops close at 4:00. He ran into town to pick up a new one, so that we could install it ourselves and still run, as the next 2 days were holidays. At that point my father returned home with an overheating tractor of his own. My brother returned home with a new tire, which turned out the tire shop gave us the wrong one. So, my brother went harrowing while dad and I tried to repair the broken tire. I got a phone call an hour later from my brother to come pick him up, not a good sign. Upon arrival I found out why, the harrows had lost a wheel after a bearing went. It sounds like a Christmas song from hell doesn’t it.

“On the 15^th day of seeding the devil gave to me,

One broken auger

Two flat tires

Anouther busted bearing

An overheating tractor

And a really frustrated dad”

We decided to call it a day.

On the 16^th day of seeding we fixed the one flat tire and got my brother running again, though not for long, as the newly mounted auger fell off again, which was fine as we needed to replace the flighting anyway. However when he blew the bearing on the main drive shaft on the tractor, tearing off the main fuel line while it spun madly out of control, that finished us off until we could get parts, 2 days later. It was the next day that scared me the most though, which I will get to later.

The Office Farmer

It was that time of year, the time when the snow has vanished (or so I thought) and the world begins to turn a greener shade of brown. It then that I abandon the concrete city and head for home, for it is now that my second life comes out from it's post-fall hibernation. It is the time that my deep dark secret comes out to play. It is the time I return home to follow my true passion, to become a grain farmer. Yes I know, I am mentally insane to want to follow a profession that is so risky and frustrating with so little chances of actually making any decent money. Why then would I do such a thing? Simple I have always wanted to become a farmer, it has always felt right, even as a kid. Of course once you hear what all happened during my spring seeding you will realize why my father has called me insane to follow in his foot steps, but that will be next week I think, so as to give me time to put the whole story together. But to answer your question before it is asked, if I want to be a farmer, why am I currently working in an office tower? That is a question better left for another day, and another blog.

Comming Soon

I am heading off for a couple of weeks, but before you get to excited I will be coming back.

Comming soon

The Office Farmer...........

My Favorite Rooms

April 22, 2009

Favorite #4
This is an incredible place; there is no other way to say it. The architecture of the building from the outside is by no means hard on the eyes and the view of the mountains that the hotel like a newborn babe sends you for a comforting ride on the wind. Once you walk in through those revolving front doors into that grand reception area, you get a taste of what this building really contains.

The lower level has lots of shops selling everything from jade statues to fine wine, as long as you happen to carry around a couple of gold bars as collateral. With the exception of the pool, the lower level did not catch my attention. My attention was better placed upon Mezzanine 1 and 2, for that is where my awe reached all new heights. There are 4 rooms in this building I fell in love with and 3 of them are upon these 2 floors. The first room is called Riverview Lounge, which is a large open room that contains a large fireplace, antique tables and chairs along the windows that open up onto the courtyard and river.

6 columns hold up the 3 arch roof giving the walls plenty of room to shelter the heads of the magnificent animals that once roamed the mountains and now look down from above. The openness of this room draws the traveler through the room and into the oval room with it’s glass chandelier, the glass conservatory, and the cascade ballroom, which are all worth a visit. I am not sure exactly why I like this room so much, perhaps it is because this hall allows you to have a preliminary dace with a partner before entering any of these rooms. Really this room isn’t decorated, or fancy, or anything special, and maybe that is why I like it so much, and that is why it stands out so much.

Favorite #3
As you leave the Riverview Lounge you will pass by the Rundle Lounge. This is another very wonderful area, which is also a 2 tiered restaurant filled with comfortable couches, and chairs that contain a historic flare all their own. The levels are connected by an open stone staircase that even non-restaurant patrons use to go between the 2 levels of the Mezzanine. It also faces the river, but along the right hand side of the lower level sits 3 distinct rooms, which each contain a character all there own. I was standing in them and suddenly felt that I should be dressed in a fine suite, smoking cigars and drinking a fine glass of brandy discussing politics while my wife (if I had one) would be gossiping with women of similar stature somewhere else in the hotel.

Favorite #2
As you proceed past that lounge you will arrive at the upper balcony of another magnificent room. This room is Mt. Stephen Hall, it used to hold a pool, until one of our members dived off that second story balcony into it, and the only injuries occurred from high blood pressure of the present hotel staff, a year later the pool turned into a solid stone floor. This room is a large hall with a wood beamed ceiling held up by wooden carvings of angles holding the different provincial crests, above the brightly colored windows. The walls hold suits of armor which can be viewed from more antique chairs and tables placed under the windows.

Personal Favorite
The only major draw back to these areas is that they are indeed high traffic spots. If you want a nice place to sit and read a book in peace I would suggest my favorite room, the Stanly Thompson Foyer, and it is that location I wrote yesterday’s notes. It is a bit smaller than then those rooms I mentioned earlier, but it has one major advantage, it is quiet. Very few people venture into this part of the hotel, as it is kind of hard to find. The chairs are not as old, but just as comfy. You are overlooked by the Ramsey Lounge (which is a small quiet bar) and 2 buffalo heads from above. You can choose between 2 fireplaces to sit in front of, and if like me you have always wanted to there is a circular couch off in a side room. The Foyer has lots of windows for great natural lighting. It is a very comfortable room to relax and have a good read, away from the hustle and bustle of the main part of the hotel. In my case I am using it as a writing room, as I cannot find the original writing room that the hotel used to contain. This wonderful old building has made me wish that I had brought a Jane Austin novel, as it would have been the perfect setting in which to read it. All I brought though was Paper Towns.

Fate Had Better Plans

So where do I begin, perhaps my current location and how I got hear? Let me begin where it all started, when I applied for a job. It was a job that was very different that those chosen by my fellow college graduates. This job had many advantages over the other employment opportunities, but it also had just as many draw backs, just like any other job. There were problems, misunderstandings, harsh words were said, and other different sized speed bumps were struck, but those right now are a story for a later date. This is the story of the company retreat. It is one of those perks of the job.

April 21, 2008

Today my boss and I drove down to Banff in a rented cargo van with tires as bald as the plains of Saskatchewan, and in crosswinds that gave us the pleasure of crossing 3 lanes of traffic without even moving the steering wheel. Upon our slightly stressed arrival into our destination we unloaded and checked into the Banff Springs hotel, an absolutely mind baffling hotel built by the Canadian Pacific Railway in 1888.

After familiarizing myself with the architecture of the buildings many ballrooms, bars, and architecture (not an easy task) most of the office sat down and chatted over supper. After the consumption of alcohol, food, and another larger consumption of alcohol, we split and called it a night. I proceeded to my room and tried to apply my attention the wide screen LG television on the dresser, which turned out failed to work. It seemed fated had better ideas for me this night, and it didn’t involve television, so I went out and wondered around instead, and found my favorite rooms, including the one I am currently writing in now. That is how I ended up in a comfortable leather chair with a portrait of Queen Alexandra on my left, a buffalo head hovering above and stars flickering within the window upon my right.

I have the whole hotel to myself tonight, nobody is here, the ballrooms and lounges are all unlocked allowing me to walk around and see them all undisturbed. I have taken this opportunity to read the novel Paper Towns in all of the impressive rooms, just to say that I could.

I am happy actually that my TV wasn't working, walking around this massive hotel at night gives you a sense of wonder and mystery that you miss while it is bathed in is drowned in sunlight.

Tomorrow I will tell you more about my favorite rooms. Unil then.

The Company Retreat

I will be posting all of my writing involving the AGM in Banff over the next couple of days. I was planning on doing it then and there, but I ran out of time, and thus will be doing now throughout the week. I hope you enjoy.